But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
