do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
