do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
