i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
