You're so nebulous sometimes
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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