He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
