If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize