Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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