I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
being pregnant is like rehab
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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