What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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