as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
