singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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