I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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