I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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