Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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