Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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