So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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