hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize