Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
