who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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