Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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