mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
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You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
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i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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