well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
