Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
