it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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