just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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