so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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