you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
