You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
