Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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