We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
