Define "chronic" masturbator.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
