I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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