dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
