UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize