So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
