And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
