weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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