why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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