evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize