grandma shit on top of the toilet
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
