Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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