I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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