So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Me too!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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