How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
