Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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