well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
