Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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