Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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