I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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