Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
