just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
