What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My vagina is very pro this idea
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