I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize