WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
