we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
