There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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