hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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