Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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