Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
