He is like the real live version of the state fair..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
