drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize