Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
