I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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