Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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