I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize